Schlink Attack: Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu! Do I really need to say more? Ok maybe a little. It was painful waking the kids up at 3:45am, dragging them onto the cold ceramic tile and getting them dressed- neither kid could function and I can't say I blame them. One mention of seeing Machu Picchu though, helped their frosted spirits of the morning. The driver picked us up at 4:15am with an estimated arrival time to the train station in Ollantaytambo at 6:00am. Traffic wasn't a problem, but police stops along the dark road were. At the first stop, our driver handed over documentation which didn't seem to make them happy so he was asked to exit the car and enter the station. I wasn't sure if they were bribing him or needed decent light to read. I wasn't even sure he'd come back. Ten awkwardly silent minutes later, he popped back in the van as if nothing had happened. About 30 minutes later it happened again, but this time the conversation between the police officer and our driver seemed more tranquil, as if they were discussing the weather. The command of "go with God" was given and off we went.

It was barely light at the station, but already packed with people going in the exact direction as us. We waited patiently for the announcement to board Inca Rail, and at 6:40am we embarked on the bumpiest train ride ever. I love how kids give you no warning of tummy troubles. Halfway through the trip Deets was on my lap drawing pictures of volcanoes and birds, when he stopped, coughed, and barfed all over the table, himself, and me. That was drippy and gross, but particularly entertaining to the passengers across from us. This is exactly why I always carry baby wipes with me. Mark convinced Deets to sleep off the second half of the trip, while the rest of us drank our "free" drinks. This was where I got to try tea infused with coca and eucalyptus, and Peruvian coffee. My god, they were good. Once drink/snack service finished, then came the next wave of entertainment: the bathroom line drama.

I mentioned the train was bumpy, which meant the line to the bathroom needed to be spaced apart so that one would end up flinging their bodies on the tables or each other. Our neighboring seat mate took this as his opportunity to jump the line, destroy the bathroom, and coyly say thanks to the line of women staring at him horrified. They tried to gain strength in numbers by bunching closer, but no sooner did the woman in front turn her head to chat with her friend in line, did another neighboring seat mate cut in front. Faces of disgust was all they could do. It was rather unfortunate too, that Margo and I got into the back of the line (she has this obsession with using strange bathrooms- I suspect it helps with the monotony of waiting) and when we popped out, the last man standing was sent back to his seat. But for a good thing: after nearly two hours we had arrived to Aguas Calientes, placeholder for the busses and trail hikers to get to Machu Picchu.

It was around 8:30 and we were relatively on time. I didn't know this at the time (Mark swears he told me, I'm certain he didn't) but we had to be at a specific trailhead inside the park by 9:00am or we'd miss our window. We paid out more money for bus transportation to get to the entrance, which was a series of dusty hairpin turns to get to the top within 25 minutes. We arrived, stripped clothes, and had a pee break before presenting passports and tickets to the entrance. I heard something from Mark that we'd had no less than 10 minutes to get to a trailhead- but which one and which way?! 200 feet inside the park and we were faced with: left or right. We chose right, an unfortunate decision. By the time this was realized, we were on the opposite side of the park and missed our chance. It took about 20 minutes for the sting to go away and to accept we wouldn't be hiking up what I now as Sun Gate. It's the hike that gets you the most idyllic view of the giant peak Huayna Picchu.

We hiked up, we hiked down, we hiked in circles and peeked through windows of time. The kids were amazing and entertaining, free climbing where it was safe and holding our hands when it wasn't. They played king of the mountain and this ridiculous game of "do you like ___?" It's similar to the game of "would you rather?" I loved people watching. The mountain was crowded, but at least it was filled with enthusiastic people from all over the world. I mean, there were a few a-holes, but there always are. Mark took 659 photos to my scanty 279; it was fun watching him analyzing a shot then attacking.

Due to an urgent bathroom break the last half of our time there caused Mark, Deets, and our friend Josh to split up from me and Margo. She and I were left to master the mountain on our own. We made our way to the upper route of the trail which is killer. Margo made zero complaints and just went for it. This sounds pompous, but people were impressed by her energy and I was as proud as a damn peacock. We finally caught sight of the boys on the decent and made our way out to catch the bus back down. There was ice cream and beer waiting for us before getting on the train and again to our driver who waited for us since 6:00am that morning. Mark convinced him to stop at the Sacred Valley Brewery for one last time and then make our way back to Cusco (don't worry, we tipped him well). I had to settle myself for an early sleep since the next day I was scheduled to get up for a 2:15am pick up time to hike Rainbow Mountain...