Photography Diversion

To balance out free time spent playing Soccer Manager and Civilization, Mark created an account with Guru Shots, a site that calls itself "The World's Greatest Photography Game." In a nutshell, signup is free and players submit their best photos and votes are cast. Tinderesque, you swipe right for photos you like, swipe left for the ones you don't. Some contests last for days, others for only a few hours. 

The winning mechanism is a bit more complicated than winning the most votes. Players also have to put in the work, voting through stacks of photos, sometimes hundreds worth, in a wide array of categories to move up the ranks. Challenges change daily and like any good video game, it requires attention, strategy, and constant updating. The lazy ones can literally buy votes for level boosting, but you still have to depend on entering even semi-decent photos. Overall, the site advocates photographers of all sorts of talent to experiment with curating photos and it creates a like-minded, world-wide community. Mark likes it because it forces him to scour through his vast collection, edit, and also to reminisce. 

This morning's category was "Match the Cover" (https://gurushots.com/challenge/match-the-cover9/rank/gurus-top-pick) allowing only 8 hours of voting. The photo in question is displayed below. There's nothing like that in the burbs of Arlington, so David put together LEGO windows and walls, Mark photographed and uploaded it. The photo ended up earning an All Star ranking and placed 400-something in the competition. Not too bad for a few hours work and a few hours killed. 

The Challenge

The Match

The creation

The Competition

Mom-Margo Interview

Margo and I decided to interview each other for one of her writing assignments for whatever counts as school these days. While she asked me questions about childhood pleasures (like, what was my favorite book? What was it like when I lost my first tooth?) she shared her stance on living the quarantine life and came up with useful advice to give her past and future self. 

Mom: For this interview, what title would you like to give yourself?

Margo: Please call me Margo Amelia Schlink Sparkle Unicorn. Yes. You can call me that.

Mom: Can I shorten that to MASSU?

Massu: (laughs) Sure!

Mom: Since we've been living quarantine life, what has been your favorite thing to do?

Massu: I love getting to spend time with my family.

Mom: What was your favorite thing to do prior to this?

Massu: I loved playing on the playgrounds and having water fights without being worried about catching coronavirus. I miss being able to hug people. 

Mom: Let's talk about things you don't miss doing. Is there anything you can't do now, and you are glad because of it?

Massu: I don't exactly miss that people tell me that I can't do things. Like, when we used to pick up packages from the front desk, the lady would tell me it was too heavy and wouldn't let me bring it back to our apartment.

Mom: What are you most excited to do for the rest of this year?

Massu: I can't wait to get into our new house and moving to Uzbekistan and seeing my grandparents. I also can't wait to make new friends. 

Mom: Is there anything you'd like to tell your younger self, like any advice you would like to pass on?

Massu: Don't let other kids take you over!

Mom: What would you like to tell your future self?

Massu: I would remind myself that I always love my mommy and daddy and David.

Mom: You have accomplished a lot of activities with home school. What are you most proud of?

Massu: Oh, learning my multiplication facts. 

Mom: Which one is your favorite?

Massu: My favorites are 11x11 and 12x12 because you were so surprised that I knew them in a snap!

Mom: That's definitely true, I was shocked! My favorite has always been 8x4 and I have no idea why.

Mom: What have been some of your favorite books to read and why?

Massu: I love the Hank Zipzer books because they are so funny. I also love I Am Jazz. My grandma sent it to me. I like it because it shows that you should be whoever you want to be.

Cutting Some Slack

Day 57 

I've started this posting about 5,000 different times, and of those 4,999 attempts, different emotions have gotten in the way. One moment I am fine, resigned to the status we are in. I make peace with the waiting and unknown. In other moments, I am hopeless, mad, hysterical, anxious, sad, or embarrassed, though usually all of the above. Or I feel nothing at all. Worst of all, I know I am not the only one with these ups and downs. The fact that "we are all in this together" gives me no comfort. Instead, I feel even more angry and helpless on behalf of every single individual's suffering, whether you are a friend, stranger, neighbor, or family member. It sucks and I hate it. 

The world has a palpably negative vibration and enduring it is exhausting. Processing feelings is exhausting and for a while I was pretty good at avoiding it. One day, I looked into a mirror and saw nothing but a sour, dark eyed hag with a pinched, butthole-mouth looking back. My emotional poker face fools no one. But, now I write to hold myself accountable to my feelings. Every day I work to maintain a separation of self-worth from the brittle ups and downs of the unknown. I remind myself they are not one and the same.

Some days are productive and positive. Some days are only meh and blah, while others are sorrowful. These woes don't even include the news which packs such an unjust and emotional punch, that it makes it hard to sleep at night. I feel like I don't have the right to write (rejoice or complain) about anything in my life because others have it so badly. But I realized I can and should take care of my own soul and still do my part to make things right. So, I write.

The reality is, of course I am fine, and will continue to be fine. Our short term plans are like everyone else's: stay at home, continue with school and training, and keep our fingers crossed and our faces masked. My kids are fabulous and brave. They seem to be handling the seclusion from friends and stress of having me be their teacher quite well. I have gotten to know their strengths and weaknesses as writers, readers, and mathematicians, as they have gotten to know my displeasure of understanding poetry and discerning fractions from decimals. Margo taught me Common Core however, which to my surprise, actually isn't that bad. 

Mark is my rock. He's my planner, doer, and positiver. When I am tossing and turning, and grinding my teeth through the night, he stays up thinking alternative game plans for our future should prior plans not work out. He is endlessly encouraging and when I am berating myself, he lifts me up. Sometimes I ask him why he loves me. He tells me that I don't need to know why (although he would give me a rundown if I asked), but that I need to simply accept that he does. 

Self care: when I am not teaching the kids, I doodle and sketch, and collect CEUs, continuing education credits, to maintain my nursing license. I am required to complete 24 credits every two years, and right now I have about 80. I have a nursing job waiting for me in Uzbekistan so with luck, I will get to put the knowledge to use this fall. Or maybe I don't want to- because it would mean I'd be dealing with STDs and fungus infections and diarrhea and of course corona virus, none of which I would wish anyone to have. I have really missed patient care.   

Long term wise, things get more complicated when Mark completes his training in June. We were told to plan as usual, which is to go on Home Leave (government mandated vacation) and onward to our post at some point. Ideally it would be July, but due to well... life, no one knows the when or how. We have friends and colleagues waiting to return to the States upon completion of their tours and others waiting to move abroad. Some families are waiting here to go back to their previous lives overseas. The entire system is navigating blind and making adjustments along the way, all the while with manpower scattered around the world holding their breaths like we are. In short: it is complicated, so we wait and fake embrace the icy cold-warmth of the unknowing and settle into whatever counts as patience these days.  

Forest Bathing