My First Greasy Jeitinho*

*Jeitinho: comes from the expression "dar um jeito," literally- "find a way." It implies the use of resources at hand, as well as personal connections, and creativity. -Wikipedia

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Ever since we arrived, I had been battling my stroller. I would muscle through the turns, dodging potholes and curbs or dragging it backwards through the compact sand just to ensure my rug rats would have a place to rest (or rather- be contained) once we wandered farther than 500 yards from the apartment building. I ignored all my pulled muscles and achy rib cage at the same time complaining to Mark how I needed to get some grease for the wheels. His natural, problem solving response was "Then this weekend, we will head to a bike shop and pick up some grease." Seeing as how this is the only place I have ever purchased grease, it seemed like a sensible idea.

I refused to wait until Saturday so on Friday, I spent some time on the Internet checking out local bike shops and mapped my way. I decided the stroller wouldn't be worth my time since its condition deteriorated rapidly with a nearly frozen front wheel. With Margo in the backpack and Deets willing to walk so long as I promised him popcorn afterwards, we headed out for our projected 15 minute walk. Thirty minutes later I walked into the store carrying both kids; one about ready to pee himself, the other very eager to get away from my sweaty self.

First thing she sees: chairs and table. First thing she (repeatedly) says: "I'm hungry."

Chatting with the local bike mechanic (in Portuguese! -mark), I asked where they keep their bike grease. He stared at me blankly. Clearly no one ever asked him this question, or maybe he didn't understand my accent. Turns out it was neither- they simply don't sell grease. Like, ever. He showed me his store's single tube of industrial blue grease and pointed out that all people in Recife bring their bikes in for maintenance. No one ever does it themselves. Well I refused to give up and asked him if they could at least sell me a little dab of it, I'd even take it wrapped in toilet paper or a coffee cup. Apparently that was absurd request and whilst laughing me, I asked where I could find a tube to purchase. He responds with, "Go that way 10km and you will find a construction store. They can sell you grease." And he walked away.

Well okay then. Relieved at least to be in some air conditioning, the kids found the store's toys and happily played fought over the plastic-rocking-chair-snail-thing, and running laps around their store. I sat down to formulate my next plan, and ten minutes later the mechanic walked back up to me and said they were trying to figure out if they could sell me their sole tube of grease. Conferring with four other staff members, they finally agreed: 15 Reais, or about 6.15 USD. Before they could change their minds, I accepted immediately and while I was waiting for a sixth staff member to come to the register (only she could ring me up) I asked the mechanic what type of bike he owned. He laughs again, (just as Deets knocks over the torso of a mannequin) and explains to me not only does he not own a bike, he doesn't ride either. The bike mechanic. Go figure. He then asks me if I am from Norway. That was pretty cute.

I also met the store owner who called himself Robinson. He thanked me for coming into his store and then he told me all about his recent trip to Miami, followed by the question "do you know so-and-so at the Consulate?"  He said he was happy to make a special exception in selling the grease to me. When I thought about this special dispensation, it made sense because I guess most people on the US prefer bike specialists to fix their bicycles as well. Like Mark, my brother is also a well skilled bike mechanic agreed to this theory. He laughed, remembering the thousands of bikes he'd maintained or fixed that never once saw a drop of grease or lube. Or a bike pump for that matter.

Victory was mine. I walked away with grease, two relatively happy kids who got to blow off steam (though they were supremely annoyed that I wasn't buying them new bikes or helmets) and the name of a good bike shop should I need one in the future. I plan to grease everything that I can in my house now. 

My one and only true form of transportation/punishment for the kids.

Jim's leash has practically rusted from the ocean. 

After repeatedly scraping my knuckles trying to slide open the lock.

Mark's knee. 

Bike Commuting in VA

After two weeks of spousal deliberation, Mark and I decided that I will forgo potential nursing employment for sake of a full time Portuguese language course. It wasn't an easy decision to make considering future car purchases/registration/shipping fees. And preschool. And student loans. And phone bills. And food. Just good ol' life getting in the way of my dream of slathering sunscreen on a meat-and-rum-slinging Brazilian beach boy. It's okay though, I always have enjoyed public transportation and bicycling out here. In fact, I sometimes feel hard core. When other parents get out of their warm toasty cars, wearing fancy pea coats and fur trimmed gloves, I pedal into the school parking lot with my windbreaker pants, butt-frilled neon jacket, and lobster gloves. Oh, and my giant bank robbery balaclava, wool beanie and helmet. I AM fashion. And fashion is danger. People literally turn their heads to see this lithe babe trucking down Arlington Boulevard at 15 MPH:

Wanna tap that? I thought so.

I am as graceful as they say...

As if my commuting attire wasn't bad enough, I managed to take embarrassing to a whole new level the other day. Parents watched on as I walked out of school with Margo and Deets by my side. While lecturing Deets to not eat the Magic Wizard Rock Salt off the ground, Margo took this opportunity to gleefully sprint into the parking lot.  Though she was in no immediate danger, I had a childhood flashback of running into traffic at the King Soopers parking lot. It resulted in considerable amounts of well deserved guilt-ridden reprimanding. I grabbed her and turned my attention back to Deets who had picked up a 7 foot PVC pole. He was pretending to fish for octopi (that's right he uses the proper plural) but lost control and smacked the pole into a classroom window, startling everyone inside. I waved an apology and got the heck out of there with a now loudly protesting daughter strapped into the trailer.

One of the many amusing toys at school.
Deets also enjoys gravel clod ice cubes and broken tree branches.

Loudly protesting daughter

The good news about riding bike with a trailer is I generally can listen to the babble of my children, or totally ignore them especially if they are whining about being confined. I almost made it home when the most horrific noise begin to follow me. The kids began to match the noise, screaming at me to make it stop and the faster I pedaled, the louder it got. I thought maybe I was dragging discarded antlers or picked up someone's broken muffler! Looking over my shoulder I realized the flag holder on the back of the trailer wore through and my safety flag was dragging along the road.

"Only 500 feet to our apartment," I yelled to the kids, determined to get us home. An SUV pulled up beside me, rubbernecking something fierce. He slowed down just enough to stack up honking cars behind him before he decided I wasn't worth the time and stepped on the gas sending exhaust into my face. Rounding the corner to turn left into our parking lot, another car made a wide turn around me with the driver shouting over the scraping, screaming and honking: "You broke your flag pole! Your flag stick is dragging! Hey! IT'S THE STICK!"

She even threw her arm out the window pointing to my rear end situation as if I was totally unaware...then she tried to drive around me in the turn lane, the crazy blow bag. What nerve. I had the right of way dagnabit and was already in front of her. I tried to yell this at her, but I doubt she heard me behind my scuba suit. So instead she was forced to hit the brakes and merge back into the proper lane to avoid hitting the curb. Or me and the kids. <insert deep sigh>. But we made it home without incident.

Note to self: buy duck tape to fix safety-flag-pole-holder. And possibly consider getting a bull horn.