Closing out Norway: Oslo

Back in a busy city for the last few days of Norway, the family and I naturally took to the streets. Public transport in Oslo is spot on well organized, so in between our characteristically long walks, we hopped on trams, buses, metros, and ferries while navigating the ridiculous number of museums available to us. One of the first things I noticed, were the manhole covers. At first I thought it was a man standing in a viking boat proudly showing off his weapons. Then I took closer look and realized it was a man standing on a woman. Well that just seemed oppressive, so I wrote the Norwegians off as misogynists and too hung up on their conquering mentality. 

But then I stood back a moment and did my homework. The manhole covers display Oslo's Coat of Arms, the man being Saint Hellvard, the city's patron saint. As most saints go, he was martyred for defending a thrall woman (slave) during the Viking Age (8th-11th century). St. Hellvard isn't standing on her, but rather she is laying by his feet while he holds up a millstone and a set of arrows. Norwegian kings were also big on lion decor, representing protection of the throne. I supposed this was okay, particularly when I read that Oslo's motto, "unanimiter et constanter" means united and constant. The entire country in fact is extremely proud of their heritage, their land, their capabilities.

As I mentioned, Oslo is packed with museums, most of which are based on Norway's maritime, viking history. Expert sailors for more than 2,000 years, the Vikings, explorers, scientists, and historians followed oceanic trails, seeking land, power, or knowledge. Naturally, we saw a lot of boats: wooden boats, sailing boats, even bamboo tiki boats were proudly on display. 

In the great outdoors, we wandered through playgrounds and loads of green stuff. Oslo's most famous park is the Vigeland Sculpture Park where all 212 bronze and granite sculptures are dedicated to the various human forms we come in. Some where beautiful, some were bizarre, and some were downright hilarious. The parks' most popular sculptures are the tower of bodies carved out of a single block of stone that stands 46.6 feet (14.2m) tall, and the bronze angry baby statue. Angry Baby perches on a pedestal just like the others, but one hand is brilliantly gold, polished from all the tourist hands touching him while snapping pictures. He also has a gold winky. Of course, right?

Museums and statues made for a full couple of days, but Mark and I did get a date night were we held hands and talked about... the kids. After a few beers chatting with a local restaurant manager and a brewmaster, we aimlessly wandered around trying to avoid going back home. Shops had long since closed, and crowded patios had dispersed in the pouring rain when we came upon a bowling alley. Inspiration took us and we put our names on the waiting list. As luck would have it, we ran into the same locals we had been chatting with and they invited us to join their group. So we bowled in headache-inducing rainbow light, practiced our non-existent Norwegian and made a few more memories that never would have happened if Mark wasn't so talkative.  He's alright sometimes.

Oslo's Coat of Arms
Credit: Mark

Vigeland Sculpture Park, open since 1940.

Heartbreak or hope?

Angry baby.

WWI propaganda, Maritime Museum

Wood viking ship from 920AD. Damn that's old.
Viking Museum.

All you need to know about viking history
is in a five minute animated film projected
onto the ceilings and walls. Viking Museum.

Viking mascot.

Bowling in Oslo.
Notably, the place shut down at 10pm.