Schlink Attack: Life in September, Weathery Chitchat, and Goat Polo

Friday, September 13, 2024

Life in September, Weathery Chitchat, and Goat Polo

I get it. People loooooove to talk about the weather. It's the lowest hanging fruit of conversation. It's safe and has the power to connect through shared pleasure, surprise, or misery. Weather chat dominates even my own confabs (next to asking them where they're from, and if they might happen to play an instrument and want to jam with a flute player), but if one more person tells me "you only think you know what cold is" in reference to Astana climate, I will throw up. I've been over it well before we got to Astana - two years in fact. When we found out we'd be coming, truth-sayers of all shapes and sizes immediately leaned into their cold, hard Astana weather advice.

Yes. Astana winters are cold. Windy. Brutal. Dangerous. I'm a grade A weenie and don't like the cold, nor do I do well in it. I guarantee I will suffer from cold-weather hives, probably get seasonal affective disorder, and whine about walking the dog every morning. I'll complain about dead batteries, chapped skin, and worry endlessly that my kids are staying warm enough. What I won't do is give people useless comments about their future selves and whether or not they will winter successfully.

With that out of the way, let me talk about other things that Astana is also famous for. The name Astana is Kazakh for 'Capital City' and is famous for its Guinness worthy number of name changes. In 1997 the capital was relocated from Almaty in record time, just under two years. The BBC wrote an in-depth article about it here. Flat, grassy Kazakh steppe extends 1,400 miles outside of the city, while inside, there's eye-catching, futuristic bridges and buildings, some of which were designed by the famous architect Kisho Kurokawa. There are crazy statues all over the city. My current favorite is one of a curly haired bull, two leopards, a sword, and a Queen, called Mother Earth ("Zher Ana"). The bull reminds me of Toro the Looney Tunes bull.

Here, people have an affection for mall life, good restaurants, spas, and convenient grocery delivery services. Taxis are cheap with easy to use apps, and so is the bus system. Dental care is pretty good and the pharmacies are better regulated than you'd think. Medical care has... potential. Nearly all transactions can be done electronically, you can even pay your neighbor back the twenty bucks you borrowed using an app. Procuring a local sim card is a pain, as is finding large quantities of cooking vinegar, but you can still find anything you might need if you look hard enough.

Kazakh culture is fabulous. Yurt life and designs are everywhere. Local textiles are thick and vibrant featuring plant and animal life, and strong geometric patterns. Modern musicians embrace the traditional Central Asian sounds of dombras, 2-stringed instruments, bayans, animal hide drums. Kazakhstan's popstar singer, Dimash, attracts fans from all over the world not only because he slays 6 octaves of vocal range but also because he seamlessly integrates Kazakh culture into his music without making it sound dated. He's also reportedly a very nice guy and has type A blood, according to multiple fan sites.

We got to experience this man perform opening night of the World Nomad Games- yet another cultural sparkle for Kazakhstan. He was lovely and charming and definitely had a great voice.

Grand Finale of Opening Ceremony.

Dimash hunk.

View of the presidential and VIP box.

As for the Nomad Games, it's held every two years and athletes compete in events such as archery, archery on horse, horse racing, horseback goat-polo, strong man, wrestling, tug-of-war, falconing, strategy games, and more. This year more than 2,500 participants from 89 countries competed. Some of our Tashkent friends flew up for the week to attend an impressive number of events and based on my level of envy for how much fun they had, we hope to do the same when the Games return to Kyrgyzstan in 2026.

For the Schlinks, we only made it to kokpar, a game akin to goat polo. Essentially, two teams riding horses vie for the most points by dropping a 40kg goat dummy (historically they used a carcass) into a circle at the opposite end of the field. The game is fast, aggressive, and exhausting. Athletes can only use one hand to pick up the goat and clutch it between their thigh and the horse. Sometimes riders fall off, sometimes horses escape or fall. The final was nuts, down to Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, with military police on horseback standing guard. KZ won and Kyrgyzstan refused their 2nd place medals on grounds of cheating. In fact, KZ dominated the entire week winning 112 medals to Kyrgyzstan's 65. Russia placed 3rd overall with 49 whereas the bottom 55 countries tied with no medals, including the US.

Weather on kokpar day was cool, cloudy, and windy. It made the sun all the more lovely when it did come out. Did I talk about that with other people in our section? You bet I did. Because I too, loooooove to talk about the weather.