Schlink Attack: Okambara Elephant Lodge

To see elephants in Namibia, most people choose to visit the Erindi Game Reserve which is 2.5 hours north of Windhoek. In fact, most of us assume that it's the closest, fastest way to see one. I thought that too until I came across the Okambara Elephant Lodge about 1.5 hours east of Windhoek. When I told this to friends and colleagues, everyone's response was of a surprised one. For all we know, out east, there's nothing but farmland past the airport. Oh, and Gobabis, the epicenter of Cattle Country. It's a place I certainly want to visit too.

The drive past the airport is nothing short of boring. Straight, smooth with and row after row of farm fields. It's the kind of road where tired drivers are at their worst. Eventually, the asphalt ends and gravel begins at the turn off and leads the way to a large supply of hunting reserves stuffed with overly healthy springbok, kudu, and other game.

A few turns later and we were greeted by enthusiastic (and likely bored) children running out of their farm houses to open up the cattle gates. Some children wore pants, some didn't. Handing them cash and treats, we sidled onto another country road potholed and soggy from a recent rain. (The whole time Mark and I laughing our evil, sardonic laugh as we splashed through the water and mud. You see, once upon a time there was a Foreign Service Officer who jockeyed for our attention to buy their 2 wheel drive SUV on the insistence that one could go "literally anywhere" with 2WD. Long story short, we didn't buy that car and lived happily ever after).

Finding our way to the lodge, we were greeted by supremely friendly German interns, several peacocks, a really mean macaw, and a big pig. The interns checked us in by handing over a set of keys and that was that. Our "room" had 2 levels, 2 bedrooms, 2 balconies, and a bathroom. No AC, but the breeze was encouraging. (We would soon find the first night to be miserable trying sleep in nets and blowing bugs our our noses, but the second night would be perfectly fine.) Almost immediately the kids disappeared to explore the water hole, the neon swimming pool, and to visit the rescued cheetahs and caracals. The cheetahs were collared and the caracals were sunning on a grassy patch, both of which made them look like harmless house cats.

As the afternoon wore on, I became increasingly happy about the choice I had made to come here. We met the German owner who had his interns set up an roaring fire for grilling. He turned giant slabs of eland while telling me how he bought the land 27 years ago and built it up to over 15,000 hectares (nearly 58 square miles). In a delightful combination of free labor and job skills building, the owner uses unpaid interns to run the lodge. Most of them stay for three months before returning back to Germany. There's rarely a shortage of interest and the interns find out about it mainly by word-of -mouth. Emails get exchanged, and 6-9 months later the interns are "hired" and paid by room and board. Every single one of them we spoke to absolutely loved the experience. Granted, most of them served dinner with bed head and without shoes, but the customer service was great and they let the our children chase goats and pet porcupines and play with fire.

Let's talk about the food: each night we ate two or three different kinds of meat. I tried wildebeest liver and loin as well as eland and oryx cuts. Dinnertime began each night with a multilingual menu presentation: Damara, German, and English. We sat (happily) through multiple courses and ate until we could hardly breathe. Porcupines came to visit, bribed by scattered dried corn kernels. They were very shy, panting like dogs as they hoovered up corn. My friend Lisa egged me on to grab a spine from the source, but I never could muster up the courage despite my excitement.

Breakfasts were basic, but extremely delicious with fresh bread, yogurt, cheese, and meats. But the lunch? Well... people here love mayonnaise and put it in everything. The lunch menu was literally "mayonnaise-meat-salad." Unfortunately, Deets and Margo chose an unsavory time to misbehave and sadly were forced to eat their lunch (not all of it- I'm no monster). I, sadly watched them gag down their last bites, but I had to stand my ground. Poor kids. All was forgiven when they finally and politely excused themselves.

During the weekend we signed up for a game drive, opting to leave at a humane hour of 9:00 am instead our friends who took off at the ungodly 6:00 am hour. Like the name of the lodge, the first animals we saw were elephants. Eight of them moseyed past the truck, not really caring about anything. According to the owner the elephants literally just showed up one day about 3 years ago and never left. As the property lines expanded and the fences went up, they stayed. Only a couple times in his memory did the elephants "escape," wreaking havoc on neighboring farms. I asked him how they got them back in, and he laughed, "very carefully." I really wished he would elaborate, but then again, maybe it's a story best left untold.

We cruised on to other typical African creatures and got to see a nesting ostrich. Our guide said "watch this" and waved a spare ostrich egg he had in the truck, into the air and the ostrich frantically took off. We counted the egg stash (13) and moved onto seeing our first bat-eared foxes. Normally they only come out at night so this was pretty cool. Finally, after increasingly hot 2.5 hour drive we saw found the rhinos, where one had the longest and and scariest horns I have ever seen.

On the way back we passed a mess of giraffes and cows which filled me with absurd happiness. Seeing them together left with a total disconnect from where we were. Mark and the kids thought I lost my mind as I demanded a photo be taken of this oddity. Nearly 4 hours later we rolled into the parking lot only slightly stunned from the lengthy venture. We bounced back nicely: the kids took off to harass the interns and while Mark and I shared a bottle of wine. I could really get used to this weird place.