Victoria Falls

Vic Falls

@Three Monkeys Restaurant

Victoria Falls is a darn good waterfall. Majestic, huge, and loud, we joined the masses of other tourists to walk the Zimbabwe side of the park, enjoying views that accompanied the constant, cool spray, massive rainbows, and thousands of gallons of voracious water plummeting into the gorge below. Historic records indicate March is when the levels should be so high you can't see your hand beyond the mist, and the back-spray should be seen even from the town of Vic Falls. For March 2019, the water level was neither too high nor too low and the legendary Devil's Pool contained many thrill seekers hopefully avoiding a gruesome death, which we could see across the way. (On the Zambia side, you can pay extra money to ford the part of the river and rest in a natural pool that sits directly at the edge of the falls.) When the 13 minute helicopter rides weren't thumping over head, we could hear the water crashing into the bottom from the hotel pool. 

From Namibia, many people prefer to arrive by plane because it takes less than two hours to fly. The drive from Windhoek takes roughly 15.5 hours, not including border crossing wait times. For us though, we had been desperate to visit the northern stretch of Namibiawhich is vastly different from anywhere else in the country, so we filled up the car and made our way to the town of Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, over 3 days. The route included 4 border crossing stops (exit Namibia, enter Botswana, exit Botswana, enter Zimbabwe), 4, national parks, 4 gas stops, and stopping for countless animals crossing the road, including elephants.

We stayed in the town of Vic Falls for two nights, which was more than enough time to see the tiny city, the falls, and engage in few other activities. One of the activities we signed up for was a Zambezi River sunset cruise. Though we did see some wildlife and enjoyed a pretty sunset, I regretted that decision because the theme for the evening was getting drunk people even drunker on a pontoon boat. It was a painfully boring slog with nothing to see but a few hippo nostrils and a distant giraffe, combined with creeps harassing Margo about her red hair. 

On another venture, we took the kids to a crocodile farm and snake exhibit while we waited for lunchtime. Despite the fact that dozens of crocodiles were divided into three-foot high cement wall enclosures with a pathetic amount of fetid pond water, most of which were farmed to make leather goods, the park wasn't too shabby. Well, their lion enclosure was depressing and small. But the kids held one year old crocodiles and we watched a feeding where the guide dangled chicken meat over the wall with a stick. Crocodiles would jump out the water, snapping their jaws shut with impressive finality. Unfortunately, it was during the feeding that Mark's camera hood bumped the wall, sending it into the murky water forever. "Not getting that back" was all he could say in the matter.

The best part was the snake exhibit. We saw something like thirty different snakes in glass cages, including some good ol' american copperheads and diamond backs. We saw black and green mambas, boomslangs, and every other famous south African serpent. To their utter delight, the kids got to hold one of the tame ones. I couldn't tell you which one because I could only focus on the fact that the snake kept trying to crawl into David's armpit.

We ate mediocre food at expensive restaurants that preferred to take USD or Rand instead fo the local currency. We drank at The River Brewery Company which had decent beer, and attempted a self-proclaimed "nanobrewery" that only had warm beer and tired people leaning against the bar eating pap, mahangu porridge. Otherwise, we drank 5 USD Zambezi Lager or water that cost the same (tap water in Vic Falls is perfectly safe, but unless you clarify tap water, we learned, they'll hand you a pricy bottle of Bon Aqua.) 

Though we could have structured our time differently and integrated more activities in our schedule such as bungee jumping, zip lining, or taking a helicopter ride, we were content with walking the path in the park. Deets did wistfully ask if he could be put in an alligator cage and see the gators underwater at a different croc farm, but once we pointed out the stink from the previous one, he agreed it might not be the best thing to do. 

Before we knew it, the two days were up and we faced driving the 1,441 km home. There would be a grand finale though - in four day's time, after the kids patiently dealt with our "just one more game drive" pleas (which they disliked), and bird viewing cruises (which they loved), we'd get a chance to see a pangolin at the Rare and Endangered Species Trust located outside Outjo, Namibia...

Squacco Heron

On the highway through Victoria Falls National Park.

Zimbabwean stink bug.

Booze cruise with 100% pure Zambezi lager.

Nano-brewery: smaller than a microbrewery
and without crafted beer of any sort.