Saturday, October 9, 2021

A homestay, a dog, and a weird bathroom

It started with a pin drop: meet him at the T-section of R-36 and an unnamed road between 2:00pm and 3:00pm, and he would lead us up the mountain valley to someone's homestay for 2 nights. Maybe his name was Sherzod, the person we communicated with from Responsible Travel, a tourism company based out of Nurota, maybe it wasn't. The drive took us 3 hours southwest to Jizzak, then 1 hour 45 minutes northwest through the Forish region, which has a dynamic landscape of exposed, desolate steppe, steep, shrubby mountains, and algae green valleys. The Forish Region is home to Aydar Lake, military training sites, and remote villages that are are laden with rich culture and traditions. There are heritage sites, historical monuments, and state protected archeological sites that leaders in ecotourism are trying to expand and promote. 

We chilled on the side of the road, watching the sporadic passing of ambling trucks overstuffed with harvested wheat. Pieces of wheat swirled along the ground as impatient, white sedans overstuffed with passengers flew past. A motorbike driver chugged his way down the valley a with a rider and his dead sheep draped across his lap. And we waited for... someone. When someone did arrive, it wasn't Sherzod, but a man named Lubek who said he was Sherzod's brother told us we would follow him to his home in the mountains. Later, we would come to find out Lubek wasn't his actual brother, but rather a brother in the fraternal sense. Work colleagues really, yet following some guy into the remote mountains felt oddly normal. Anywhere else, this would be the beginning of a horror film. Sometime later, the road petered to an end, literally to the gate of his house. We parked on his lawn underneath a huge walnut tree and were met by his wife, 3 and 5 year old kids, their earless dog, and about 20 sheep. 

The dog had a gentle air about him. He was quiet, loving, and cute. He seemed like he had an earnest soul we liked him immediately. After settling into our room that contained literally only four twin beds, a dim overhead light, and a window that looked into the dining room, we decided to wander the area before dinner. The family pet who the kids nicknamed Doggo, joined us. Soon we were met by a shepherd, his flock, and a fellow earless sheepdog. Unfortunately, things escalated quickly and the two dogs attacked each other.

The shepherd half-heartedly tried to separate them, but it only made them fight harder and I was calculating the odds them biting him in retaliation. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued on with his sheep. We had no choice but to do the same, and not twenty seconds later, Doggo rejoined us exhilarated, and blood dripping from his neck. We now know why many of the dogs up there have no ears. Later that night at dinner, I told Lubek about what happened to his dog and he merely shrugged his shoulders. That's life, he said.

Lubek spoke some English, his Russian was better, but like most people we have met beyond the Tashkent region, he and his family primarily spoke Tajik. The youngest of ten, his mom was a legitimate Mother Heroine, an honorary title given to women who bore and raised at least ten children during the reign of the Soviet Union. This was his summer home, a place to raise sheep, harvest fruit trees, and to escape the heat.  Plus his extended family lived throughout the valley. 

Come winter, though the small family would relocate to Jizzak where his wife's extended family lives. It felt like winter already, particularly after the sun ducked behind the mountains. There was no heat, so we kept warm by drinking bottomless pots of tea, shooting vodka, and sleeping with heavy blankets. We slept pretty well those nights, listening to animals talk and the rushing mountain stream that ran through their property. And, after being spoiled rotten for stars and views of the Milky Way in Namibia, I was convinced no place could ever compare. I was wrong. Uzbek skies are bold and breathtaking.

Lubek's wife cooked in an outdoor kitchen where she prepared simple meals. She not-so-hinted that this was not her favorite place to be, preferring city life over the solitude of village living, but she played her role admirably. Indeed she was the one who brought out the vodka, taking shots with us and insisted that finishing the bottle was the only polite thing we could do. 

Surprisingly, the next morning was met without hangover. Lubek said it was because the air up there was so fresh and clean. I couldn't argue. Per our initial plans, another brother, a guide named Cher arrived via taxi to take us hiking. He wore a light jacket and carried a small backpack. As usual, we looked like American fools, shivering in our winter gear and carrying camping backpacks stuffed with liters of water and food and a wilderness first aid kit. The trail started where the road ended, leading us deeper into the valley. It was the same, well worn route the local residents took to get home either by foot or donkey, hugging the side of the mountain. We hiked past long stretches of stone walls, fences, homes, and historic mahallas, everything hand-built. Cher showed us petroglyphs of wild mountain goats and where eagles nested high on the mountain cliffs. Along the way an old man wearing a sports jacket and knitted hat handed the kids fistfuls of walnuts. Women in colorful dresses and shawls gathered buckets of orange hawthorn fruit. A child in Manchester United gear led his firewood-carrying donkey down the trail. Finally, we reached a national park entrance, but only permit holders are allowed to enter so while the locals continued on, we had to turn around.

Most of the time we had electricity and running water. Mark got the only hot water that weekend. I tried to shower but only got as far as wetting the back of my head before it ran out. I couldn't tell what I was more annoyed at: that I couldn't take a shower, or that I had wasted time stripping off every single item of clothing I had brought, and was standing in Mark's shower water shivering like a naked mole rat. We also spent an inordinate amount of time debating whether the large knife in the bathroom was meant for cutting blocks of detergent or for cutting other... things.

Was it worth getting away? It always is. Fresh air, peace, camaraderie made up for the temporary discomforts and inconveniences. But would we return to this particular homestay? It wasn't as weird as sleeping in a shipping container, but probably not. We found this one via guidebook and our local friends told us vehemently that relying on word of mouth will always work better. That's what we get, one friend said, for trying to be all American and independent about things.

At the pin drop.
Photo credit: Margo






The Soviet touch

Sleeping arrangements

The least fun part of our stay

The most fun part of our stay

Credit: Mark

Credit: Mark



Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Embassy wife reviews Embassy Wife

I am an embassy wife. I've never called myself that, but considering the alternatives of toity "diplomat's wife" or cringeworthy "trailing spouse," for the sake of a book review - I'll own it. I've leaned into this role for over ten years and four countries, reaping the benefits of travel and serving my country abroad. Some of this lifestyle is admittedly lavish: embassy wives get black books. Housing and schooling is generally paid for, allowing the paycheck to stretch much differently than it would in the U.S. (ie: hired help). We get invited to fancy balls and dinners. Sometimes we get to meet famous people and dignitaries. Others might have gotten to meet Wynton Marsalis or President George Bush. I for one, got to meet Katie Crouch. She's a mega babe.

However, embassy wives also capitulate to homesickness, frequent unemployment, and the exhaustion that comes with starting a "new" life every few years. It can be pretty intense trying to make friends and build a community in rapid succession when nothing is familiar. Limitations might be the high turnover of families arriving to and leaving post, where gatherings feel more like speed dating. Often, there's language and cultural barriers too. Just try ordering a taxi when the only vocabulary you know is from Duolingo. Or ordering a pepperoni pizza only to find there's no timeless, cured meat discs on top, but rather a pile of extra juicy pepperoncinos that have soaked all the way through the cardboard. Freedom of movement might be restricted to an embassy compound or to city limits because of crime or poor infrastructure. But, perhaps the biggest limitations are boredom and loneliness- particularly when there's no job or palatable hobby to pass the hours. Day drinking anyone?

That's not to say anyone should feel sorry for embassy wives (or husbands), it's just that all the parameters we constantly are forced to adjust to ultimately make us weird. Like, super weird, and it lingers a little bit more with each post. So much so, we forget how kooky this lifestyle looks from the outside. I had the honor of meeting and befriending Katie Crouch along with her daughter, son, and partner Peter Orner, who moved from California to Namibia as a Fulbright Scholar. The program is an outward facing part of the State Department. That was how Katie found herself in the middle of an embassy wives' coffee hour, freshly arrived not even days before. There she met a handful of us weirdos all at once: the Real Housewives of Embassy Windhoek only without the lady fights and spray tans. But we did have the chic hostess, ultramarathon athlete, yoga teacher, CrossFit junkie, and other assorted mom squads.

Katie's book was begging to be written. How could it not?

Embassy Wife makes for a quirky perspective of diplomatic life, where "two women abroad search for the truth about their husbands—and their country." It's tall-taleish and funny, but the story goes beyond the notion of entitled spouses spreading hot goss and drama of who's the secret agent. The true heart of the story comes from the cultural exchanges that the supporting characters allow us to see. The housekeepers keep the reader grounded as they astutely observe the Americans agonizing over abundance of choices with menu planning, or the helplessness of a sad, whiny, white man who'd been robbed and feels like the end of the world. "And to have no money, that is a problem. But you are white. There's always more." After that smackdown, he figured out how to get over himself.

Mila's story could stand alone. Her past wrought with racism, poverty, and heartbreak, should have led her down a different path. She should have failed, fading into the Namibian landscape. But we get to meet her her as a domineering wife to a high ranking government official and in between then and now, the we get to understand a little bit about what it's like to be raised in one of the many Namibian cultures. The more Mila opens to her American characters, the more we get to see too. She shares hard moments of living in constant danger from wild animals, heat, drought. These moments feel very private, intimate - especially for someone who embraced Namibia in a manner just like the rest of the embassy wives: privileged. It's not something I to take for granted.

Serious homage aside, the book is antic and fun. I laughed and smirked my way through each page. Most of all, it made me miss the country and the people in it.

Embassy Wife on an embassy couch.


Sunday, July 18, 2021

Escape to The Maldives

The vacation was supposed to be mountains, rivers, and hikes. In the Bovec Mountains we would hermit ourselves and ignoring reality by taking forest baths and labyrinth walks. But, Europe was closed. So we pivoted, opting for an island trip with stringent covid precautions and easy flight connections that avoided Europe altogether: Republic of Maldives. There would be no jet lag and only one connecting flight through Dubai to get to Male. A seaplane would get us to our final destination, Amilla Fushi, one of 150+ resorts that have been established in the 1,190 island archipelago. 

In choosing which resort, it helped to prioritize our wants and desires. We focused on two things: immediate reef access for snorkeling, and the opportunity to swim with reef mantas, possibly whale sharks. Our villa was reef side, which meant we could step out onto a private deck where we could see the sunrise and sunset, climb down a set of stairs into the water and go snorkel. I loved this best because I loathe sand. Even while living in Brazil and in Namibia, I never did find peace with it and they are possibly two of the sandiest places on earth, beyond my own swimsuit. 

My dislike for ocean water is a close second, but thanks to Mark (and the Wirecutter), we got proper snorkel gear that allowed us to swim without fear of equipment failure and choking on all those salty fish tears. Great gear meant my confidence would grow during our stay, culminating with an ultimate nighttime snorkel trip where we saw all the things that go bump (and bite) in the night. 

We started at 7pm. After swallowing a little bile and a whole lot of fear, we jumped into pitch black water, pointed our flashlights down toward the seafloor, and took off.  We watched translucent squids devour small fish, nursing sharks taking their warmup swim, fluorescent colored morays doing some fish-watching, and millions of bioluminescent plankton throwing the tiniest, most spectacular, neon rave. Of particular nighttime interest, we swam past tons of needlefish. They have a silvery sheen and are easy to identify by their needle shaped noses and creepy, googly, deadeyes. In the daytime, they jump out the water like a synchronized swim team and are generally harmless. However at nighttime, we were warned not to shine the flashlights above us, lest we spook the needlefish and get bitten, or worse, stabbed by their snouts.

Daytime snorkeling was a fine affair too, where we saw all the pretty things typical of a tropical reef. It was on an "ocean discovery" excursion where we spotted two huge reef mantas swimming in deeper water. It all happened by chance because the boat had stopped when Deets spotted a pod of spinner dolphins, but a nearby roaring speed boat ruined the moment. Pausing to decide our next plans, we saw a huge, drapey shadow near the surface of the water. Reef manta! We jumped in, snorkeling for our lives to catch up to the gorgeous beast. Spotting a second one, we trailed them for a good 15 minutes as they cruised around the navy water, snacking on plankton. Speaking of plankton, these microscopic drifters are essential to life on Earth by maintaining the health and balance of the ocean and land -  scientists think they are responsible for at least half the photosynthesis on this planet. Also, plankton rash is hella itchy. 

To celebrate Deets' 11th birthday, Deets, Mark, and Grandpa Schlink went scuba diving, and now my son has yet another hobby to blow all his money on. He came back from his lessons wearing the biggest grin I have ever seen.  

Shore wise, we all had personalized, ill-fitting cruiser bikes that we loved and rode all over the island in between snorkel hopping the various reefs. Margo learned to juggle, play with fire, and perform silk rope acrobatics. Deets found a prized stick which became his favorite tool to play with in the enormous swimming pool. Mark and I drank gin slushies and ate ice cream cones every day. The kids learned to make sushi and loved eating it too. Most meals were unforgettable, though if we ever go back, we will avoid family style meals. I can't handle the guilt of not eating all the things on a set menu. 

It wasn't all fun and sun fuzzies. We went standup paddle boarding, but realized very quickly what a terrible idea it was. Turns out, waves, strong currents, and SUPs make for clown show debacles. We went heels up, cartoon style over and over attempting to stand before we resorted to sitting. Deets almost got cast out to sea. Sharing a board, Margo and I struggled to get back to shore, opting to carry/drag the unwieldy board back to safety instead of paddling. Only Mark made it back via original route and after that, he was an emotionally and physically exhausted papa bear. 

Margo and I took a class on coconut painting which resulted in her ditching me to play foosball, while I got criticized by the teacher for not following his frustrating instructions. Margo got a manicure with her grandmother which lasted so long that she picked off the polish while the manicurist did the other hand. I tried Tai Chi and the instructor was disconcertingly aggressive and nearly tore my rotator cuff. I guess I never realized it was a contact sport? I also came home to Uzbekistan with sea lice, fever blisters, patchy sunburns, a bit of cellulitis, and scarecrow hair - whereas everyone else's skin cleared up. There always has to be one person that the ocean hates.

Regardless, the Maldives trip was very much a relaxing, fun, enjoyable success. So much so, that we are planning another snorkeling, sand filled adventure for our next trip out of Uzbekistan. 

the way to breakfast (12 sec.)

pre-game snorkel before snorkel

the boy

silks practice

Margo's fire coach

credit: Mark

  credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

 credit: Mark


credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

credit: Mark

black tipped reef shark. credit: Mark

Sunday, March 21, 2021

Bukhara: a very nice place

After spending some time in Bukhara and wandering through its impressive collection of madrasas, mosques, and mausoleums, I understand the paramountcy of religious excursions. Through the history and detail of great beings who lived, and through the tiles and towers designed to inspire devotion, the feeling of being surrounded by a greater goodness is abundant in Bukhara. 

Many times, we watched dozens of men of all ages, answer calls to prayer with beads in hand and shoes lined up along the carpet edges. Elders sat in chairs while others remained on their knees. They prayed among ancient, yet gloriously tiled buildings, among foreign and local tourists, kids flying kites or driving Power Wheels, and among jovial vendors. It was special and important, but also seemingly no big deal. 

Everyone we met in Bukhara was friendly and eager to chat, though there was one waitstaff who had an uncanny resemblance in both looks and mannerisms to Orin from Parks and Rec. He was morose and stared a lot, offering few words other than "no." Overall, Bukhara's friendliness was the biggest thing we noticed. Grannies handed out candies to the kids when they left a neighborhood wedding celebration. Kids begged to have their pictures taken while practicing their English or Russian. Bathroom attendants made sure there was plenty of toilet paper on hand.  Advice on things to see and do was plenty, so every day in Bukhara felt like a very good one.

Based on our experience, a stay at Komil Boutique Bed & Breakfast is our own piece of advice. Stop by the Studio of Applied Arts on Arabon St. (not 100 yards from Komil B&B) to meet artists and their work. The Meat House, owned by a man who trained at Hilton Head in South Carolina, promises high quality dishes and basically non-existent corking fee. We wished we had bought more tools from the blacksmith located a few steps north from the Tim Abdulla Khan Trading Dome on Khakikat Street. His shop was closed on the last day we were there, so we had to settle on the Museum of Metal Chasing's "gift shop" instead. 

Poi Kalon Mosque

Bolo Hauz Mosque

Poi Kalon Mosque southern view from the neighborhood

Poi Kalon Minaret and Mosque in background

Beauty salon space in vacant madrasa  

Space and cold

Mirzo Ulugbek Madrasa


Bolo Hauz Mosque Prayer Schedule

Bolo Hauz Mosque wood and tile work

Nodir Devon Begi Madrasasi

"The idiot." I can't tell what is more classy: 
that the donkey's butthole was as shiny brassy-gold as the saddle 
where 1,000s of tourists have sat upon, or that I noticed it.

 
Karnay horns at a wedding

 

Monday, March 15, 2021

Tashkent Victory Museum

Timing is everything. A year after they announced its construction, Tashkent's Victory Park (G'alaba Bog'i in Uzbek) opened last year on May 9, 2020 - VE Day for the Soviet Union, to commemorate not only the 75th anniversary of the Great Victory over fascism, but also the Uzbeks who sacrificed and gave to the war efforts. By official count at the Shon Sharaf Museum, nearly two million soldiers from Uzbekistan fought, 538,000 died, and 158,000 souls never came home. Afterwards, millions of evacuees and orphans also started new lives in this country.

Embracing a gray, crappy and cold Sunday, we bundled up for a visit. The roar of airplanes, tanks, and machine guns played over the loudspeaker as we walked past hammer-and-sickle studded fencing. Sounds of battle lingered while we walked past bunkers and into the trenches. Visitors snapped selfies with statues of the fallen and a few others posed on top of T34s. The park was otherwise empty. Soviet music started playing over the speakers as we found our way into the museum that is built underneath a huge obelisk and 20 foot tall wartime heroes standing around it.

The staff were particularly skittish about video recording, but photography was fair game provided you paid the fee. Inside, we ran straight into video footage of Hitler on the big screen. We looked at weapons, mementos, scores of official paperwork, models, and thousands of military medals. Provided we stayed on the marked arrows, we walked through seven years of history. Homage was played too to the women and children who stayed to at home, supporting heir troops abroad with depictions of women farmers and manufacturers. The most memorable part was a reenactment of Nazis losing in battle, bodies splayed in agony and fear and defeat.

Outside, patriotic music continued to play when we walked past train cars. From a distance we had worried the train cars represented something else. They were meant for transporting patients, wounded soldiers, and the fallen coming home, complete with waving and smiling statues. There was an audible sigh of relief. For us it was only two hours of merely looking at war and it was exhausting. Living and breathing it 24/7? My heartbreak is visceral.


                              





 



Saturday, February 20, 2021

Ice Mud and Good Company

The original plan was to drive 3-4 hours north by northeast on the R5 highway, past a military checkpoint, and park near a village named Pskom (or Pskem) and hike to Urungach Lake, located in the Ugam-Chatkal National Park. Google photos of the lake seemed so blue and fresh, and more importantly, peaceful. I was giddy to get away from work and enjoy some silence that only mountain life can provide. Mountains that on the other side, Mark wildly loves to point out, lead to Kazakhstan.

We left behind untypical 60 degree, sunny February weather and ended up in boggy ice-mud, fog, and an impassible road. Granted, we tried. Locked into 4WD, we made it only 1/4 mile before we got stuck. I got out in a hurry to guide while Mark backed the car down to safety. I chased the car in a pair of ill begotten Chuck Taylors and no jacket, regretting many clothing decisions I had made that morning.

Parking on a less icy side of the road, we thought we would start the hike there instead. Until, my daughter announced she forgot her boots and a local farmer named Johnny, wearing knee high rubber boots approached, urging us to change our plans. He insisted that avalanche danger was legit and that we would be better off trying again in May. He had a valid point, exemplified by wet clumps of snow falling off the trees around us. Having driven all morning, we opted to hike along the road, away from the snowpack. I couldn't decide what was more fun, slip-walking in the ice-mud where shadows still ruled winter, or trip-walking in mud-mud, the kind that makes your footprint larger than the one before it. The calming sound of the running creek put my crabapple mood in check. Uzbekistan is double landlocked plus it has a huge, dried out portion of the Aral Sea, so any sight of water is, honestly, deeply appreciated by everyone. It's hard to be a jerk when you are around water in these parts.  

We hiked into the village, catching up with Johnny along the way as he walked to his father's house. Johnny studied agriculture at one of the universities in Tashkent. While he speaks Russian and is an Uzbek citizen, his heritage is Tajik. In fact, most people in the village speak Tajik as their preferred language. Pskom farmers grow an assortment of fruits and vegetables, but particularly love their sour cherries and potatoes.  They cultivate walnut orchards, keep bees, and herd cows and goats - producing fantastic yogurt, cheese, and butter to go with traditional Tajik naan. Their loaves are bigger and flatter than Uzbek naan, like a large sized pizza crust. Johnny told us about his wife who teaches school in Gazelkent, and his children who study at university. Johnny is 40, by the way, and he laughed at Mark when he admitted he was 43 with kids still in elementary school. 

It wasn't the cerulean lake hike we'd hoped for, but we did walk away feeling peaceful and refreshed in a different way - the kind of peace that comes with meeting wonderfully kind, new people in a foreign country we are only starting to get to know. We parted ways with Johnny, who insisted he'd take us on an even better hike than the one we'd planned, the next time we return to Pskom. I hope he does.


 
NE on the R5 past the checkpoint where 
piles of blasted mountain lines much of the road.

The point where we realized we'd need to 
drive backward to get ourselves out.

Winter bees

Mountain runoff draining into the Pskom River


Walking with our new friend Johnny



Traffic

"Welcome to Pskom" in Tajik
Credit: Mark