You know what's not fun? When you take your four year old son to the doctor for his health check up and they request a urine sample. So, being rather experienced with my personal history of asking people to pee on demand when I worked in a urology department, I don't think much at first-until we walk into the bathroom. I realize there is NO WAY my son would be able to hold two things at once (thank you to my dutiful husband who taught Deets how to point "things" in the right direction). This, in addition to the explicit directions of: wiping himself with a cold antiseptic towelette, peeing into the toilet first, then catching some urine midstream for a "clean catch." Sure. Thanks lady-nurse.
I ask Deets whether he wants to stand up or sit down. He tries standing first, but then can't pee and switches his strategy. He sits and here I am, squatting close to the toilet with one arm hovering dangerously close to both exit holes, cup poised and ready. It occurs to me at this point, I just might get peed on or worse, because we all know what weird things doctor offices do to us. He takes what feels like for-ev-er to decide that he can't pee. Isn't it amazing the boundaries we share and cross sometimes? That's true love.
This may sound weird, but it was the first time in a looooooong time that I thought about the various difficulties some of my patients faced when they paid a visit to the urology office: peeing too much, peeing too little, peeing sideways, peeing weird colors... there was always something fascinating to learn working there. It made me think about how what seems like a simple task could turn into a huge obstacle for many people, and at that moment I felt the stress my patients must have felt. It was enough to make ME pee; and miss my job a little bit.
Anyway the doctor continued on with her lengthy health exam: measuring vital signs, vision and hearing tests followed by a scolding for his calcium intake, praise for his nap and reading times, and four vaccinations. My poor kid screamed like a teapot, but recovered well enough to eat two suckers and head off to summer school. It was the moment we arrived there that his bladder practically exploded; performance anxiety in its truest form!
Margo had her health check up last week and it doesn't take much to see how they are two totally different people: Deets at 25% for height and weight, with Margo at 90% & 75%. Deets only outweighs his sister (younger by 2 years) by 4 pounds! Ah- the list of differences can go on...
Next week is my check up, only mention-worthy because we are in full swing of medical clearances before we head to Brazil. I wonder what fun things I will get to do all in the name of renewing a birth control prescription. Any guesses?! All I can say is, it's not fun.
I ask Deets whether he wants to stand up or sit down. He tries standing first, but then can't pee and switches his strategy. He sits and here I am, squatting close to the toilet with one arm hovering dangerously close to both exit holes, cup poised and ready. It occurs to me at this point, I just might get peed on or worse, because we all know what weird things doctor offices do to us. He takes what feels like for-ev-er to decide that he can't pee. Isn't it amazing the boundaries we share and cross sometimes? That's true love.
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| I got kicked out of the room for his hearing exam, because I was bothering him with my incessant photo taking. Well played, Deets. |
This may sound weird, but it was the first time in a looooooong time that I thought about the various difficulties some of my patients faced when they paid a visit to the urology office: peeing too much, peeing too little, peeing sideways, peeing weird colors... there was always something fascinating to learn working there. It made me think about how what seems like a simple task could turn into a huge obstacle for many people, and at that moment I felt the stress my patients must have felt. It was enough to make ME pee; and miss my job a little bit.
Anyway the doctor continued on with her lengthy health exam: measuring vital signs, vision and hearing tests followed by a scolding for his calcium intake, praise for his nap and reading times, and four vaccinations. My poor kid screamed like a teapot, but recovered well enough to eat two suckers and head off to summer school. It was the moment we arrived there that his bladder practically exploded; performance anxiety in its truest form!
Margo had her health check up last week and it doesn't take much to see how they are two totally different people: Deets at 25% for height and weight, with Margo at 90% & 75%. Deets only outweighs his sister (younger by 2 years) by 4 pounds! Ah- the list of differences can go on...
Next week is my check up, only mention-worthy because we are in full swing of medical clearances before we head to Brazil. I wonder what fun things I will get to do all in the name of renewing a birth control prescription. Any guesses?! All I can say is, it's not fun.
My daughter just had her 4yo appt too....she screamed and refused to even attempt to pee in the cup. How hard would it be when we make the appts for the office to give us a heads up and maybe even offer to let us pick up a collection cup to try at home?
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